Forever Changing and Evolving..

A sadness that has turned to happiness

2008-08-12T15:51:00.002-06:00

I had a hard time not to long ago with missing my missionary...
It has been hard. One of the hardest things that I have done. It is hard when half of you is gone... But I have come to realize that no matter where he is I am not alone. He is always there for me and I should always remember it. He loves me, I know because he has shown it to me and he has told me. I have felt it. Love is one of the greatest blesssings to have in life. I have that. That makes me ineffably lucky.
I love him.

The Mission... Just around the corner

2008-08-12T15:39:00.002-06:00

As you know.. I have been working on my mission papers. (YAY!) I thought I would give you all an update on things..

I have gotten all my medical stuff done. ( 3 shots and blood drawn was not very fun..) I need to fill a few more things out and they will be in to my president. He will look throught them and then they go to the stake president. That is very exciting. And nerve wracking at the same time. Once I get my call I can go to the temple.. that is what lingers most in my mind. THE TEMPLE. Funny story.. So I went to get my medical stuff and Dr. Thompson was excited for me! So much that he has been the FIRST PERSON to guess where I will be called.. his guess: Washington DC! So I think we should start guessing where I will be going.. Hehe..

I have the greatest blessing of an amazing home ward. I was able to go last last sunday and bear my testimony to them and I could feel their love. I have so much support from them that it brought me to tears. It was a great feeling. They all want to chip in and help me for my mission. What more can I ask for?

This are going great. I have come to learn that as we do what is right and asked of us the blessing will just pour down. The lord knows us and what we do and what is in our hearts. I know he knows my heart. I love this gospel.. I still have so much more to go before i am even close to being ready.. but its time to go forward and do it. He loves me..

Updates... and so much more!!

2008-08-12T15:11:00.009-06:00

So... here I am. I am alive. hahah I come to you from Ponderosa! Where most of you know I have been since about June. It has been great. I have many more stories, memories, and friends than I did before. I love it. I have the Lewis' to thank for this. :)

I worked in housekeeping and front desk here. Housekeeping is.... HARD! Wow. Try cleaning 6 or more big mountain homes in less than 8 hours.. yeah. HARD. Some had like 5 bathrooms. Who needs 5 bathrooms ya know?! Ha. Beautiful homes tho.. If I could buy one.. it would be 704 or 750. My favorites. Another thing with housekeeping.. CHEMICALS. never have I ever wanted to get high.. hahah but here you do even if you dont want to, that asidrufoam gets to ya! Once... Me and Sarah were cleaning and stuff.. then we were doing beds in 704 and went off!! You should have seem us... me could not stop laughing... it was crazy.. I swear I think I saw butterflies that day or something. Good good times.

Front desk is another thing, as much as i love my girls in housekeeping.. (and boys.. ha) front desk is better. I just am such a people person and i like dealing with them. We gets lots of foreign people here. I have had the chance of speaking spanish a lot of the times and it has been great. But every once in a while you get the BAD PEOPLE... yeah. I hope none of you out there are the BAD PEOPLE when you go places. ITs hard to deal with you. Haha..

So this place is also about fun, we play as hard as we work. I have camped in teepees... riden 4 wheelers... gone horseback ridin... been burnt from too much time in the pool... gone on amazing hikes... rapelled... its been great. Good times and memories.

A sadness in my heart

2008-07-20T22:52:00.002-06:00

How do you deal with a sadness that is becoming hard to hold in your heart? What happens when the person you love the most is gone? You cannot see into their eyes.. their simple touch is gone. Their presence is away and you are left with memories and feelings. There are pictures... gifts... items... memories. But how long do memories last? As long as the person decides? Or forever?

There is a sadness in my heart that I can no longer hold in.. I miss you Jared. I have so much inside me that I cannot type fast enought to express it. You wont read this.. maybe not for fa while. BUt I want to say that I love you. You made me change. And without you now I feel as if I am falling apart..

How can I reach you when you seem so far away? Today it rained here. And my heart is now raining with the sky. Raining tears of sadness and despare that I do not have you here.

What will time hold? IF only I could just know. But you have to just take that risk right? I look at the moon and remember what we said. Are you listening? Am i? Heaven help me so I can be strong.

Updates.. and such

2008-06-02T16:15:00.003-06:00

Hello there my readers.. here are a couple of things I would like to inform you on...

1) Mission papers are OFFICIALLY started! AH! (So much inner excitement!) :D They will be done by August 1st. I will most likely be leaving Christmas Eve.

2) I am leaving St. George... for the summer anyway! hahah.. curious as to why? Call me. HA!

3) I got a letter from Taiwan this week. It made me happy... with pictures and everything.

4) Check out my photography blog! I will be putting pictures up here constantly..(or trying to anyway) Comment on them please. :D http://damsmagicmomentsphotography.blogspot.com/

5) I love you. :D

The WFAM Girls!

2008-06-02T15:30:00.004-06:00

Not too long ago I was able to meet an amazing group of girls. I love them with all my heart and i know they feel what I feel. These are the Waiting for a Missionary Group girls. Which.. yes. I am in. We all have a different story with our Elders. But the one thing that is common among all of us, we love our missionaries with all our hearts. Know.. first word to all that read this. Dont judge this group.. If you dont know how it is or what we do. Our one goal is not to marry or missionaries or sabatage their missions or anything like that,(altho we do love the guys and want them for ever!) our goal is to be a suppot. There are stuggles... hard times.. but that is why I have these AMAZING girls by my side.

Danielle.Tiffany.Me.Kim.Kaitlyn.Jenn in front of the St. George Temple. We chilled here and saw the amazing sculptures.. Went to Off the Cuff (improv comedy show) had Cold Stone and saw the ocean at the DIXIE rock.

Flying High

2008-06-02T15:08:00.012-06:00

I have not updated this thing in a while.. sorry for that. But time seems to fly by so fast its crazy. Speaking of flying... Hehe. Before school got out I went with my girl Sarah and with Michael on a little flight. It was way random. BUt SO FuN!! After tennis class Michael randomly askes me and Sarah.. "hey, you girls wanna go flying?" we were like.. WHAT?! So Mike is a pilot, we did not know. And he wanted to go for fun. Sarah was totally up for it. And I was freaking out. Long story short.. I was convinced into it. And i am so glad that I was. I ditched institute, OPS, but It was a once in a lifetime experience. We flew over St. George and were going to land in Colorado City, but Sarah got sick. Haha, so we sniffed hand sanitizer. Really! It works if you get dizy! Anyway.. here are some pics!

Under the Same Moon... And Crash

2008-03-04T12:29:00.012-07:00

As many of you know, I am hispanic. I was born in Mexico and all of my famil is from there. There is a movie that I would like all of you to see. "Under the same Moon" is the story of an immigrant mother and her child. I know that it is hard for some people to understand immigration and why people do the things that they do. But there is better life in America and I am so glad that I am able to live here now. My parents have given me the opportunities I would have never had in Mexico. This is a new movie that probably won't show in St. George because it is a smaller film. It actually showed in Sundance and was brought for the highest amount of money. I hope that you can go see it when it comes out on DVD. I know it will be great.. it will be touching. And hopefully you can learn something from it and my people. Whom i love. Watch the Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jCZgUiPixE

There is another beautiful movie that I saw that touched my heart. "Crash" I know it is a strong movie.. it has a strong message, but it is a message that some people have to see this way to understand and learn. I saw this movie with Jared and I'm so glad that I did. I cried so much to realize that life is like this, he cried too but at the same time we learned. I highly recommend this movie. And the touching song that goes with it... is the first song on my blog, "In the Deep"...
Here is the link to the movie trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEQ_ftkpb18

CHOP CHOP DAM!

2008-02-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

O yeah! Who knew that a haircut could revive someone?

Well, I didn't but now I do. And I love love it. I feel sassy and all sophisticated. ^0^ Tell me what you think!

P.S. I am going to start a new blog for my photography.. I'm EXCITED! I want to show some of the stuff I've done. It will be coming shortly.

How is it so?

2008-01-31T15:11:00.000-07:00

How is it so?

How is a person remembered or known as a person of good? I think that they would have had to of helped a lot of people. Changed lives. Even if it is just one. The power of one. This individual was President Gordon. B. Hinckley. What a man was he. Incredible. When I heard about his passing I was truely sad. I loved him. Such a sweet man of good and honesty that glowed.

I'd like to tell you about a time I got to see him. He came to Dixie College of Utah when I was about 14-15. He was amazing. I was pretty close to him and could feel his magic. After his incredible talk we all left the place in high spirit. After I had a reporter come to me and ask me what I felt. I told her words could not describe what I felt. I was honest in what I had told her. It was later published in the newspaper and I have in now in my journal. I cried for him that night. He's been the only prophet I have known. But he is happy now. Living a life we know not.

I know he is next to our Heavenly Father

The Power Of Heaven

2008-01-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

The power of Heaven. How beatiful it is that we have the love of God. He is always there when we need him. I feel I have left him a bit. There are so many emotions right now going through me. I feel vulnerable and a bit scared. I'm thinking about the future. It seems so uncertain right now. But I have to stay strong and I have to stand on Holy grown. I think that once you get older your faith is tested so much more. There is a maturity that happens to you. I am at this point right now. I have to keep trying thought, If I stop then I would have truely failed.

I cannot fail.

There is so much more out there that I have to do and accomplish. But it is hard. I need to pray and get closer to my Heavenly Father. Have you had a moment like this? Have you almost given up?

I've been thinking about the Temple, and how I want to go there someday. With the man that I love. I love you... But is it you I am supposed to go with? I miss you like you have no idea. I miss you more than I thought I would. It is heartbreaking not to have the person you love by your side. For those of you that have your love, cherish them. God has given you the opportunity to love and grow together. Don't take that for granted.

How do you fight a feeling of uncertainty? When you aren't sure where life is going to take you? I must say I feel a bit alone, its hard to fight this. Where can I find the positive when dark light is making me lost?

Sight..

I have to remian strong. I cannot despair at this point. Heaven.. Inspire me and help me to be better.This life is filled with purpose. I still have much to do.

How Wonderful..

2008-01-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

How wonderful is it to see your friends happy and joyous. Ashley is now a beautiful bride whom I love very much. Her and Chase are my favorite. Then there is Yesenia and Scott. I
wasnt able to be at their wedding but I am glad she is also a bride. HORRAY FOR LOVE.

Christmas Days.. What Beautiful Days.

2008-01-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

Christmas Days are always so beautiful! I think that this Christmas might have been my last one with my family. (Because I'm thinkin about a mission) If i do indeed go i will probably leave before Christmas 2008. This Christmas was really fun! We had a huge Fiesta with other people from our ward at Bro. Najera's house. So SO SOOO much food. I think I gained like ten pounds. The thing with being Hispanic is that we always do things BIG. We had food... music.. and danced the night away.

Christmas Party

2008-01-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing Frosty the Snow Man's hat! The little kids beat if off the pinata and gave it to me. :)

Parties are always so fun. This year for our ward Christmas party we had a blast. There were pinatas and comida (thats food in espanol) and kids running all over the place. Just lovely. I mostly just sat and talked with the elders, Elder Venturi and Elder Porter. AWESOME FOLKS I TELL YOU.

Elder Venturi and Elder Porter holding a little angel. HA, you know what they say.. Elders are angels.

Being twenty...

2007-12-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

So it's my birthday today. (Inner thought: I'M TWENTY! HOW OLD) So twenty is probably not that old.. in the real world. HAHA but in Utah, it is. Two of my greatest friends are getting married this weekend, both of whom are 19. CRAzY. Today has been a good day tho. I've actually had fun and enjoyed it. My love snet me an email and that made my day. My boss and his wife took me out to lunch, since it was his birthday today too. Oh and my dad got me some flowers, tender huh. :)

T.I.E.

2007-12-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

That day on that bench is when it all began,

What a lovely Spring day it was,

Your face so perfectly sound,

My heart beating for you,

I drift to that day oft,

The wind was blowing just swiftly,

We could feel her fingertips touch our cheeks,

Our place, that holy place,

That place that knows us so well,

Us and our love,

I love you,

Three words and three letters,

Each with such an intense meaning,

T.I.E.

But only you and I know,

I hold it dear in my heart,

As I hold you my love,

You are apart from me now,

Yet closer than ever,

Hold on to Hope you say,

Our Hope of love,

I'll hold on dearest,

If you hold on to my hand too

Salt Lake City

2007-12-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

I had the amazing blessing of singing in the Joseph Smith Building and at the Assembly hall in Salt Lake City not too long ago. I could feel the spirit as I was singing and it stirred all my emotions. The air was cold in Salt Lake, the snow was falling, and it was beautiful. Christmas is THEE most wonderful time of the year. I was able to hang out a little bit with Tara and Mandy. I really enjoyed talking with them that day. :)

Thoughts

2007-12-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

I decided. I am switching my major. (Thanks a ton Clare. :P ) I want to major in Graphic Design. And yes I'll be going to SUU. BYU has a BFA too..but, I doubt I'll ever get into that school. It could still be a posibility right? I'm excited for it. I'll be getting my Associates of Science in the summer. I would this spring but I have to take a nutrition class that is already full. Next semester is going to be so much harder. 17 credits and a part time job along with all the other surprises that will be thrown at me I'm sure. Phew.. But I'm taking design classes and I'm pumped for that.

Can I tell you all how much I love my job? Working with the McInnes is the best. I feel so knowledgeable in insurance. SO, If you ever have a question on your bill or anything about insurance, JUST HOLLER. :D

I know that there are many people that say time heals everything... time is perhaps your greatest friend or your worst enemy. In my case, it is both. I want time to go by fast... but at the same time I want it to slow down because I want to do so much. I have begun to find a variety of passions. And with everything that is around me and because of all the things I have to do, I don't have the time to exercise my passions.

One day. I want to just drive. To take my car and camera and stop on the side of the road and take pictures of everything that my I see. There is so much beauty in the world and I want to capture it.

A quick view at things...

2007-11-28T16:10:00.000-07:00

It is quite challenging to write that first post. I don't even know if anyone will even read this.. HaHa. But thats okay. I'm going to give you a quick view at things.
I am going to turn 20 soon!
The semester is almost over so i'm excited!
My best friend and love now lives in Taiwan..Phew its hard.
Two of my greatest friends, AshBash and Bree (Ashley and Brianne) are getting MARRIED! On the same weekend.
I want to throw a Girl's night for AshBash. but I don't even know were to start. Any ideas?
Thats it for now. But i'm sure i'll be putting other things up here soon. Like pictures! I'm at work right now...and should really be working right? I better get to it. ^o^ That is Ashley and I up top.