A sadness that has turned to happiness

I had a hard time not to long ago with missing my missionary...
It has been hard. One of the hardest things that I have done. It is hard when half of you is gone... But I have come to realize that no matter where he is I am not alone. He is always there for me and I should always remember it. He loves me, I know because he has shown it to me and he has told me. I have felt it. Love is one of the greatest blesssings to have in life. I have that. That makes me ineffably lucky.
I love him.

The Mission... Just around the corner

As you know.. I have been working on my mission papers. (YAY!) I thought I would give you all an update on things..

I have gotten all my medical stuff done. ( 3 shots and blood drawn was not very fun..) I need to fill a few more things out and they will be in to my president. He will look throught them and then they go to the stake president. That is very exciting. And nerve wracking at the same time. Once I get my call I can go to the temple.. that is what lingers most in my mind. THE TEMPLE. Funny story.. So I went to get my medical stuff and Dr. Thompson was excited for me! So much that he has been the FIRST PERSON to guess where I will be called.. his guess: Washington DC! So I think we should start guessing where I will be going.. Hehe..

I have the greatest blessing of an amazing home ward. I was able to go last last sunday and bear my testimony to them and I could feel their love. I have so much support from them that it brought me to tears. It was a great feeling. They all want to chip in and help me for my mission. What more can I ask for?

This are going great. I have come to learn that as we do what is right and asked of us the blessing will just pour down. The lord knows us and what we do and what is in our hearts. I know he knows my heart. I love this gospel.. I still have so much more to go before i am even close to being ready.. but its time to go forward and do it. He loves me..

Updates... and so much more!!

So... here I am. I am alive. hahah I come to you from Ponderosa! Where most of you know I have been since about June. It has been great. I have many more stories, memories, and friends than I did before. I love it. I have the Lewis' to thank for this. :)

I worked in housekeeping and front desk here. Housekeeping is.... HARD! Wow. Try cleaning 6 or more big mountain homes in less than 8 hours.. yeah. HARD. Some had like 5 bathrooms. Who needs 5 bathrooms ya know?! Ha. Beautiful homes tho.. If I could buy one.. it would be 704 or 750. My favorites. Another thing with housekeeping.. CHEMICALS. never have I ever wanted to get high.. hahah but here you do even if you dont want to, that asidrufoam gets to ya! Once... Me and Sarah were cleaning and stuff.. then we were doing beds in 704 and went off!! You should have seem us... me could not stop laughing... it was crazy.. I swear I think I saw butterflies that day or something. Good good times.

Front desk is another thing, as much as i love my girls in housekeeping.. (and boys.. ha) front desk is better. I just am such a people person and i like dealing with them. We gets lots of foreign people here. I have had the chance of speaking spanish a lot of the times and it has been great. But every once in a while you get the BAD PEOPLE... yeah. I hope none of you out there are the BAD PEOPLE when you go places. ITs hard to deal with you. Haha..

So this place is also about fun, we play as hard as we work. I have camped in teepees... riden 4 wheelers... gone horseback ridin... been burnt from too much time in the pool... gone on amazing hikes... rapelled... its been great. Good times and memories.

A sadness in my heart

How do you deal with a sadness that is becoming hard to hold in your heart? What happens when the person you love the most is gone? You cannot see into their eyes.. their simple touch is gone. Their presence is away and you are left with memories and feelings. There are pictures... gifts... items... memories. But how long do memories last? As long as the person decides? Or forever?

There is a sadness in my heart that I can no longer hold in.. I miss you Jared. I have so much inside me that I cannot type fast enought to express it. You wont read this.. maybe not for fa while. BUt I want to say that I love you. You made me change. And without you now I feel as if I am falling apart..

How can I reach you when you seem so far away? Today it rained here. And my heart is now raining with the sky. Raining tears of sadness and despare that I do not have you here.

What will time hold? IF only I could just know. But you have to just take that risk right? I look at the moon and remember what we said. Are you listening? Am i? Heaven help me so I can be strong.

Updates.. and such

Hello there my readers.. here are a couple of things I would like to inform you on...

1) Mission papers are OFFICIALLY started! AH! (So much inner excitement!) :D They will be done by August 1st. I will most likely be leaving Christmas Eve.

2) I am leaving St. George... for the summer anyway! hahah.. curious as to why? Call me. HA!

3) I got a letter from Taiwan this week. It made me happy... with pictures and everything.

4) Check out my photography blog! I will be putting pictures up here constantly..(or trying to anyway) Comment on them please. :D http://damsmagicmomentsphotography.blogspot.com/

5) I love you. :D

The WFAM Girls!

Not too long ago I was able to meet an amazing group of girls. I love them with all my heart and i know they feel what I feel. These are the Waiting for a Missionary Group girls. Which.. yes. I am in. We all have a different story with our Elders. But the one thing that is common among all of us, we love our missionaries with all our hearts. Know.. first word to all that read this. Dont judge this group.. If you dont know how it is or what we do. Our one goal is not to marry or missionaries or sabatage their missions or anything like that,(altho we do love the guys and want them for ever!) our goal is to be a suppot. There are stuggles... hard times.. but that is why I have these AMAZING girls by my side.



Danielle.Tiffany.Me.Kim.Kaitlyn.Jenn in front of the St. George Temple. We chilled here and saw the amazing sculptures.. Went to Off the Cuff (improv comedy show) had Cold Stone and saw the ocean at the DIXIE rock.

Flying High

I have not updated this thing in a while.. sorry for that. But time seems to fly by so fast its crazy. Speaking of flying... Hehe. Before school got out I went with my girl Sarah and with Michael on a little flight. It was way random. BUt SO FuN!! After tennis class Michael randomly askes me and Sarah.. "hey, you girls wanna go flying?" we were like.. WHAT?! So Mike is a pilot, we did not know. And he wanted to go for fun. Sarah was totally up for it. And I was freaking out. Long story short.. I was convinced into it. And i am so glad that I was. I ditched institute, OPS, but It was a once in a lifetime experience. We flew over St. George and were going to land in Colorado City, but Sarah got sick. Haha, so we sniffed hand sanitizer. Really! It works if you get dizy! Anyway.. here are some pics!